Marriage is Awkward, How to Cope with Coping.

I knew what I was signing up for when I became a Military Wife, Stinky ACU's, Feeding More then Just my husband, Moving all around the country, having to meet new people, and being alone a lot of the time. Naive as I was, I thought that the "Alone" Part would be the least of my worries. Wrong-O. Having your significant other ripped from you for periods of time, SUCKS. Hence the title of this Post, "How to Cope with Coping" because if you're a military Wife the last thing you want to do is cope. The first thing you want to do is get some super glue, put it all over your body and hug your husband...:D Now I know you were hoping for some advice for coping, and I have some for you but I'm going to do it in sort of a time line format. (enjoy)

Morning of:  If your husband Just left I bet your sitting in your room, on your bed with your favorite snack watching Movies that you always watched with him or just laying there crying. You will stay in this position for a couple days, Maybe even weeks, so get comfortable. Please remember to pack some tissues and DO NOT watch Dear John, Sons of Valor, or any other movie that has anything to do with the military... its not good for your health. This is the mourning phase, and its okay to be sad. Just remember, He's coming back.

Couple days/weeks out: Eventually you'll start feeling guilty (We're woman, its what we do) for just sitting there all this time. You'll get up and be shocked at how much you've let everything go in your house, and you! Lets face it, You haven't showered in days and haven't shaved in weeks, AND you're still wearing the last t-shirt your husband wore when he was with you. Now, Don't panic. Just hop your little Tookus into the shower and stay in there for as long as you like, You need it.

This is what I like to call the 'Distraction' Phase. You clean.. and clean.. and clean.. and then clean that spot again.. and then you sleep. Ladies, its not healthy. In order to feel better about yourself and to cope with your current situation, You need a healthy hobby. This can include, Running out your frustrations, Writing your hubby every single day (you should probably be doing this anyway) , Learning a new hobby, or going to school. There are plenty more to choose from. Be wise with your time, because after this you'll be moving so much, you wont know where the time went. If you have kids or a job its the PERFECT distraction. Just don't let your situation effect how you are with your job or your kids. If your kids are toddler age, they probably know that something is wrong and are very confused. Take this time to get to know them more and comfort them. You'll be surprised at how much it comforts you.

Half way mark: Everything Goes uphill from here. Your half way there and are no longer sulking in your own misery! You go girl:D Start a count down, it helps the days seem faster. You've made it this far already! You can almost feel his arms around you. Its okay to be excited:) You'll notice in the days to follow that your happier, have more energy and are shaving more. Take the next few weeks and workout. The last thing you want to do is feel fat, the first time he sees you because we all know he's going to be ripped... and that's intimidating.. and Sexy..

Just a couple more days to go: You're almost there! Go shopping, get a sexy dress and something even sexier to go underneath it. Shave the night before and the morning of the day your going to see him. (If you need tips on shaving see this post:http://kamillegavin.blogspot.com/2012/01/marriage-is-awkward-shaving.html) If you have kids, get a babysitter! You are going to want to spend his first day home Just with him.

He's home: Your heart is going to feel like its about to explode but Don't be so nervous, Don't fight, kiss him all that you can and remember that this time with him is precious. Don't wallow in the past and plan for a bright and happy future.

Lots of people ask me, Why do I do it? Because nights alone aren't permanent. Missing him reminds me that I'm lucky to have someone to miss because I am not afraid to make sacrifices for true love. It hurts like hell. But that Hurt is only temporary, For a lifetime of heaven. Pure and simple heaven.

We are the back bone of the military. We have to be the strongest, We have to be the Bravest, So our Men can do the same.

Remember, Marriage is Awkward and can be hard, Especially when your hubby is away, But you can do it. You can do anything.

Marriage is awkward: Shaving

Hello Everyone:) I apologize for not writing in so long, I hope this post will make up for it:)

Now I don't know about you, but I despise shaving. It takes to long and comes back in two days anyway, so why even bother? That's what I said before I got married, Now I have a little more reason to shave. The Enticement of shaving is still the same for me.. Its annoying, But with shaving comes great and many things. (come on, you know my blog is about marriage:p)

In order to fully understand the effect shaving has on the opposite sex I did a little experiment. Yes, that's right I didn't shave for an entire week... And I LOVED IT! Here you go ladies and men, A list of the Advantages and disadvantages of not shaving:

Advantages: You're warmer, You don't have to continuously figure out what razors you've already used and which ones you haven't, Less time shaving in the shower and More time soaking (Oh, how I love to soak),  Your husband cuddles with you when you have your clothes on a lot more:p You don't those nasty little red bumps caused by ingrown hair. Your clothes don't stick to your skin from your stubble of hair growing in. Your lady part isn't itchy from irritated skin. You finally get to live your dream of being "Helga, the woman who can braid her armpit hair".. Okay so that last one was a joke, but you get my drift.

Disadvantages: Lets be honest here, You don't feel beautiful. You hide your legs and wear long sleeve shirts. When your hubby wants some loving, You beg to cuddle because your so embarrassed. You don't dress up to go out. Even when your sitting on the couch and your hubby rests his hand on your leg, you find a reason to move. You loose a point of self esteem.

Ladies, lets face it. We are a "Hair free" society. Men don't want to be with women who don't take care of themselves (unless there into furies.. but that's a whole other blog) Shaving is one of those things that you need to do to feel good about yourself and have others not be disgusted by you. Now with that said, here are some tips for those of us who hate to shave, but secretly want to like it more.

1. USE SHAVING GEL! I cannot even begin to tell you the difference in your skin when you switch from Regular soap to "Big girl" shaving gel. Its night and day. When you use shaving Gel you eliminate one step to the shaving process, The lotion afterward. Buy a shaving gel that has lotion already in it. It nourishes your skin and also helps prevent ingrown hair and those nasty little irritant bumps.

2. For the love of Women everywhere, get yourself a good razor. Men have 30 dollar razors just to shave their  faces. Don't you deserve a razor like that for all over your body? Most woman settle for the bulk razors that only cost 10 bucks for a package of 20. NO. If you use the disposable razors you are doing your skin more harm then good. Especially if you shave your lady area (I'll get to that part later) Disposable razors scratch your skin and can infect those scratches if used to many times. They're called disposable for a reason ladies! Try getting a three blade, flexible razor with lotion on the strip. Along with using shaving cream, this will keep your skin smooth and will prevent scratches and those red bumps I love ssoooo much >: l

3.SOAK! Believe it or not, Warm water helps relax your skin, making it so shaving is easier and cutting yourself is less likely. Everyone loves to relax in the shower its also known to de-stressify you.

If you do these things I promise it'll help you love your skin and even make shaving more tolerable. Now if your like me, and still looking for a way out of shaving I have two solutions for you.

1. WAAAAXXX.. Hurts like hell... But it lasts for weeks. Please don't go out and buy a kit at wal-mart thinking you know how to do it.. that's how accidents happen. Get one professionally done first and ASK QUESTIONS. In time you'll be able to do it to yourself, or even find a friend and have a waxing party:) but make sure you know what your doing first. There are already to many pictures of wax burns on google:)

2. Permanent Hair removal: Now I don't know to much about this, only that its pretty expensive... But if I had the means, I would totally get it done. Although most websites say that it depends on the person skin whether its effective or not and also it includes many treatments.. eh.. if its permanent and it stays that way... I'd still do it.

WOMEN: (if your a man, or one of my innocent family members, Please skip this section)

For those of you who do not shave your lady area (if you don't know what that is... please ask your mom or someone who can assist you) You should try it. Especially if your married and your husband hasn't ever experienced that, or its been a while. Shaving your "Lady" is known to increase the amount of sex you have and also increase the sensation of sex. Especially oral sex. If you ever want to spice it up one night, just do it. You wont regret it and your man will love the new look:) This look is commonly known as 'hard wood floors' This is what I prefer. Also, If you do the "Hard wood floor" look There is a new fad called "Vajazzle" its basically just sticking jewels on yourself. Now, I don't know what effect this has.. But I'll let you know when I find out;)

There are also other methods of spicing up your sex life by shaving. A shaving method called a 'landing strip' is also common among women. Its basically a line of hair on your "Lady" So if you don't want to take the plunge to hard wood floors, but want something different I would recommend this or a heart shape.
A heart shape is basically what it sounds like, a heart shaped patch on your "Lady" Now if your still not into the shaving of your "Lady" but have always wanted to try oral use the "underneath method" Do I really have to explain that one?

MEN:
For Pete sake, Trim a little would ya? You like Women to be well groomed, you should do the same. Now, that doesn't mean, Go bald yourself up, but we would like it if your forest was a little more tamed. Traveling through the jungle isn't a pleasure of mine, And women would pull less hairs if you would trim!! And we would get less hairs in our mouths! Not only does trimming make your package look bigger (Nice perk) it actually makes you feel the sensations better. (who would have thought?)

Ladies, do yourself a favor, Plan a day, Draw a nice hot bath, light some candles, get some exfoliating soap, AND TREAT YOURSELF!! You deserve to feel like a Goddess, Every woman is worth it and deserves to feel beautiful. Believe me, The next time your husband touches your skin, He wont want to take his hands off you.

Always remember, Marriage is awkward, But shaving doesn't have to be, if you do it right:)

Marriage is awkward: Sleeping Positions

Newly weds always want to be in a cuddly heart-felt position before they fall asleep, (I blame the movies) But here is the awkward truth about sleeping positions.

This Picture was on a website I was looking at, and I laughed at the description: "What Does sleeping style of a couple tell about the relationship" The article then describes each sleeping style and what it means. Here's the list of what they say each position means, and then I'll tell you my opinion.



A. The loving Spoonful
This position reveals strong bonding between the couple and is the symbol of ultimate understanding between them.

B. The dead arm embrace of passion
This position reveals that the passion is still alive and the love between the couple is still young and on a high.

C. The Tandem Bike
This position tells us that the couple is still trying to understand each other and compromise with each other.

D. Sunnyside and Flipped
This position reveals that both live in there own world and a lack of togetherness between them.

E. Property Dispute
Simply Drunk!

F. One side fits all
This position reveals that both of them do care for each other and they do have their small world where they share everything.

G. The Space Between Us
They are on a break.

H. Doing Da' Bump
They are in a fight but still care about each other.

My Opinion

A. The Dead Arm Dragon Breath

This position means that about 30 Mins into sleeping, Your partners arm is going to fall asleep and then in an effort to keep his arm from falling off from the weight of your massive noggin, he'll try to be careful not to wake you by moving his arm really slow from underneath your head. But what he doesn't know is that, for the past 30 mins you've been wide awake wishing he would stop breathing down  your neck and roll over already! This results in switching from position A to position G.

B. Death By Suffocation

I have never slept like this.. Did they get stuck that way and have no choice but to fall asleep? I mean, His arm is going to fall asleep, Her neck is going to be kinked in the morning, There is no room to move at all, let alone breathe! Does he realize that she is suffocating him with her neck!?! That is no way to die, being suffocated by "The dead arm embrace of passion" No thank you... I'll pass.

C. The Mimic

Eeeeh.. This one is okay. The hand resting on the girls side is a bit creepy, and will eventually slide off during the night but other then that it seems like a good position. I've slept like this and it's pretty relaxing. If you want to have a good nights sleep instantly, I would start out in a position like this.

D. One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other

This position means that she is use to sleeping on her stomach and he is use to sleeping on his back! it does not mean that there is a "Lack of togetherness between them." Who comes up with this shiz? Honestly... It also probably means that once your husband is asleep he is going to start snoring. Whatever you do, DO NOT cover his mouth to prevent him from snoring, it results in an uncontrolled reaction. (I learned this the hard way) Lesson learned:)

E. To Dumb To Function

hahahaha, I have never been drunk before, and Never will be. I would imagine that I would probably be in the bathroom throwing up the whole night and then eventually fall asleep near the toilet... So if you took the girl out of this picture it would probably be accurate. Drinking means: Messy, Gross hair, Dirty sleep, that you can never remember or get back.... Just don't do it.

F. Lovers Lullaby

I love love LOVE this position, although I can't fall asleep like this, Zac and I usually stay this way when we're talking right before we go to bed, and then when we start feeling really sleeping and our words turn into mumbles we separate to our sides and immediately fall asleep. :) I love this because hearing his heart beat before bed relaxes me. It's like a lovers Lullaby. Look at me... I'm sooo Cheesy:p

G. Give Me My Space!

This is how we usually sleep, we're both edge huggers so this works out well for us. Except, I steal the blanket more in this position Because I'm on the edge of the bed, So I also have the very edge of the blanket. I have to be engulfed in the blanket in order to fall asleep. So all night long, its a tug-of-war between who gets the most of the blanket.. I usually win:) Along with position C this is one where its easy to fall asleep, So if you want to fall asleep fast just pick a side:)

H. I Give Up

"They're in a fight.." You're kidding me right? (that rhymed) This position just means that he has more of the blanket then you do, So you scooted closer to him because you don't want to play tug-of-war anymore. its just a continuation of position G. No fighting involved. Now if you want a good fight position try B. That way you're cutting off his air just enough that he can listen to you nag to him instead of talking back:p Or do what Zac and I do, and never go to bed angry. It helps with communication skills and doesn't leave you crying on the other side of the bed, wishing he would wake up and ask whats wrong.

There you have it. My version of positions and what they mean. If you're Feeling emotional before you go to bed just fix it and don't let your emotions control how uncomfortable your sleep is. Sleep is a very precious thing, don't waste it. One day You'll wake up to 12 little munchkins running around and regret not getting all the sleep you could when you had the chance! Stalk up on that sleep right now before its to late!

I'd also like to say congrats to Lesley Johnson (who got married on the 9th)  Kacie Palmer, Ana & Spencer Keele, and Shelbie Canfield for getting married this weekend. And since I know I'm not going to blog again for awhile, also a big congrats To Jesika Topham on the 11th! 

Congrats Ladies! Just remember, Marriage can be awkward, But its also full of laughs, smiles and unconditional Love:)