I knew what I was signing up for when I became a Military Wife, Stinky ACU's, Feeding More then Just my husband, Moving all around the country, having to meet new people, and being alone a lot of the time. Naive as I was, I thought that the "Alone" Part would be the least of my worries. Wrong-O. Having your significant other ripped from you for periods of time, SUCKS. Hence the title of this Post, "How to Cope with Coping" because if you're a military Wife the last thing you want to do is cope. The first thing you want to do is get some super glue, put it all over your body and hug your husband...:D Now I know you were hoping for some advice for coping, and I have some for you but I'm going to do it in sort of a time line format. (enjoy)
Morning of: If your husband Just left I bet your sitting in your room, on your bed with your favorite snack watching Movies that you always watched with him or just laying there crying. You will stay in this position for a couple days, Maybe even weeks, so get comfortable. Please remember to pack some tissues and DO NOT watch Dear John, Sons of Valor, or any other movie that has anything to do with the military... its not good for your health. This is the mourning phase, and its okay to be sad. Just remember, He's coming back.
Couple days/weeks out: Eventually you'll start feeling guilty (We're woman, its what we do) for just sitting there all this time. You'll get up and be shocked at how much you've let everything go in your house, and you! Lets face it, You haven't showered in days and haven't shaved in weeks, AND you're still wearing the last t-shirt your husband wore when he was with you. Now, Don't panic. Just hop your little Tookus into the shower and stay in there for as long as you like, You need it.
This is what I like to call the 'Distraction' Phase. You clean.. and clean.. and clean.. and then clean that spot again.. and then you sleep. Ladies, its not healthy. In order to feel better about yourself and to cope with your current situation, You need a healthy hobby. This can include, Running out your frustrations, Writing your hubby every single day (you should probably be doing this anyway) , Learning a new hobby, or going to school. There are plenty more to choose from. Be wise with your time, because after this you'll be moving so much, you wont know where the time went. If you have kids or a job its the PERFECT distraction. Just don't let your situation effect how you are with your job or your kids. If your kids are toddler age, they probably know that something is wrong and are very confused. Take this time to get to know them more and comfort them. You'll be surprised at how much it comforts you.
Half way mark: Everything Goes uphill from here. Your half way there and are no longer sulking in your own misery! You go girl:D Start a count down, it helps the days seem faster. You've made it this far already! You can almost feel his arms around you. Its okay to be excited:) You'll notice in the days to follow that your happier, have more energy and are shaving more. Take the next few weeks and workout. The last thing you want to do is feel fat, the first time he sees you because we all know he's going to be ripped... and that's intimidating.. and Sexy..
Just a couple more days to go: You're almost there! Go shopping, get a sexy dress and something even sexier to go underneath it. Shave the night before and the morning of the day your going to see him. (If you need tips on shaving see this post:http://kamillegavin.blogspot.com/2012/01/marriage-is-awkward-shaving.html) If you have kids, get a babysitter! You are going to want to spend his first day home Just with him.
He's home: Your heart is going to feel like its about to explode but Don't be so nervous, Don't fight, kiss him all that you can and remember that this time with him is precious. Don't wallow in the past and plan for a bright and happy future.
Lots of people ask me, Why do I do it? Because nights alone aren't permanent. Missing him reminds me that I'm lucky to have someone to miss because I am not afraid to make sacrifices for true love. It hurts like hell. But that Hurt is only temporary, For a lifetime of heaven. Pure and simple heaven.
We are the back bone of the military. We have to be the strongest, We have to be the Bravest, So our Men can do the same.
Remember, Marriage is Awkward and can be hard, Especially when your hubby is away, But you can do it. You can do anything.
Morning of: If your husband Just left I bet your sitting in your room, on your bed with your favorite snack watching Movies that you always watched with him or just laying there crying. You will stay in this position for a couple days, Maybe even weeks, so get comfortable. Please remember to pack some tissues and DO NOT watch Dear John, Sons of Valor, or any other movie that has anything to do with the military... its not good for your health. This is the mourning phase, and its okay to be sad. Just remember, He's coming back.
Couple days/weeks out: Eventually you'll start feeling guilty (We're woman, its what we do) for just sitting there all this time. You'll get up and be shocked at how much you've let everything go in your house, and you! Lets face it, You haven't showered in days and haven't shaved in weeks, AND you're still wearing the last t-shirt your husband wore when he was with you. Now, Don't panic. Just hop your little Tookus into the shower and stay in there for as long as you like, You need it.
This is what I like to call the 'Distraction' Phase. You clean.. and clean.. and clean.. and then clean that spot again.. and then you sleep. Ladies, its not healthy. In order to feel better about yourself and to cope with your current situation, You need a healthy hobby. This can include, Running out your frustrations, Writing your hubby every single day (you should probably be doing this anyway) , Learning a new hobby, or going to school. There are plenty more to choose from. Be wise with your time, because after this you'll be moving so much, you wont know where the time went. If you have kids or a job its the PERFECT distraction. Just don't let your situation effect how you are with your job or your kids. If your kids are toddler age, they probably know that something is wrong and are very confused. Take this time to get to know them more and comfort them. You'll be surprised at how much it comforts you.
Half way mark: Everything Goes uphill from here. Your half way there and are no longer sulking in your own misery! You go girl:D Start a count down, it helps the days seem faster. You've made it this far already! You can almost feel his arms around you. Its okay to be excited:) You'll notice in the days to follow that your happier, have more energy and are shaving more. Take the next few weeks and workout. The last thing you want to do is feel fat, the first time he sees you because we all know he's going to be ripped... and that's intimidating.. and Sexy..
Just a couple more days to go: You're almost there! Go shopping, get a sexy dress and something even sexier to go underneath it. Shave the night before and the morning of the day your going to see him. (If you need tips on shaving see this post:http://kamillegavin.blogspot.com/2012/01/marriage-is-awkward-shaving.html) If you have kids, get a babysitter! You are going to want to spend his first day home Just with him.
He's home: Your heart is going to feel like its about to explode but Don't be so nervous, Don't fight, kiss him all that you can and remember that this time with him is precious. Don't wallow in the past and plan for a bright and happy future.
Lots of people ask me, Why do I do it? Because nights alone aren't permanent. Missing him reminds me that I'm lucky to have someone to miss because I am not afraid to make sacrifices for true love. It hurts like hell. But that Hurt is only temporary, For a lifetime of heaven. Pure and simple heaven.
We are the back bone of the military. We have to be the strongest, We have to be the Bravest, So our Men can do the same.
Remember, Marriage is Awkward and can be hard, Especially when your hubby is away, But you can do it. You can do anything.
